I have no fear of going bald. My hair has always been extra thick and, though I have a five-head (that’s one larger than a forehead), my hair line has remained consistent my whole life. I have what my friend LaRue has affectionately called a “Jew-Fro” – long, thick and curly hair that fro’s up by the end of the day. Those of you who hang out with me till all hours of the night know how intimidating this mass of follicle can be.
But last night I had a dream where I walked in front of a bathroom mirror to look at myself. I noticed as I stared at myself that my five-head looked a bit lopsided. I reached up to see what was going on and suddenly realized that my whole Jew-From was off-center.
I don’t have a part in my hair anymore because I haven’t taken a comb to my hair since my freshman year of college, but for some reason in my dream I had a part. I lifted the Jew-From on the side opposite the part and the whole thing came up like I had been scalped. I freaked out at once, for my Jew-fro was just a wig and what I really had was a horseshoe style, slick on top hair cut. I was so bald on top it looked like I had been waxing my head for a while and maybe even putting make-up on it to cover up basketball bruises.
I thought to myself, “I always told myself that if I got this way I’d just shave it all off. Why, then, am I wearing a wig or a horseshoe?” So I pulled the wig all the way off and realized that my hairless head really highlighted my green eyes. It wasn’t pretty, to be sure. But at least I still had my beard stubble.
November 2nd, 2008 at 6:33 am
Thanks for sharing your dreams, man. I get the greatest inspiration from reading about them . . . and more importantly, they make me laugh.
Honestly, I think it would be kinda cool to go Bruce Willis on everyone . . . rock the world with a naked head. I don’t think Ashley is that hip on the idea, though, I think it would be freakin’ awesome. Who wouldn’t love less wind resistance.
November 3rd, 2008 at 1:10 am
Caleb, I think there’s a beard in your future. A big, huge, furry, philosopher’s beard. So much for aerodynamics.
November 6th, 2008 at 1:53 pm
Yeah, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to grow a beard . . . that would have to be divine intervention or something – haha.
I would love a big, ole hairy lumberjack beard, though.