Tag Archives: Philosophy

How I Met Your Mother and Made Her “The One” (Part A)

I mentioned in my last post on How I Met Your Mother (HIMYM) that American culture is obsessed with this idea that there’s “one person” out there for us, and that all our steps and missteps will be providentially used by a benevolent guiding hand (God, gods, the Universe, whatever) to ensure we encounter this person. This is how Ted tells his love story in HIMYM, and this is how many of us think about our own love stories.

But I’m convinced this idea of “the one” is neither true nor healthy for our marriages and relationships.  I don’t know that we can truly say that there is “one” person out there for whom we were created. I don’t know that God created “one” person out there specifically for me.

Rather, I think we filter a lot of potential “ones” and make one of them into “the one” through our mutual choices.  

Let me explain this thought through the lens of HIMYM: I think Ted could just as easily have made Stella or Robin “the one” if they also wanted to make him their “one.” Ted approaches his romantic life with the idea that there is just “one” person out there for him, but I think Ted is mistaken. I think there are a lot of potential “ones” out there for Ted, and his story could easily be titled, “How I Met Your Mother, Robin,” or “How I Met Your Mother, Stella.” 

But the fact is, neither Robin nor Stella wanted to make Ted their “one,” even though he wanted to make them his “one.” In these cases Ted’s potential “ones” are filtered for him (because he can’t force Robin or Stella to love him in return), but in other cases, his potential “ones” are filtered by him by virtue of his experiences, values, and choices.

As Ted’s story progresses, we see that what began as a huge pool of “ones” eventually becomes “the one” through things Ted does and things that are done to him.  But none of this is truly the design of a benevolent guiding divinity. It occurs through Ted’s complex choices and the choices of the potential “ones” he encounters. It occurs through the willingness of bothparties to choose each other, and only each other, over, and over, and over again for the rest of their lives.

And what I will suggest in the next post is that this same thing is true for us. That is, we each start out with a lot of potential “ones” but as our values form, our experiences expand, and our beliefs get settled, the pool of potential “ones” gets filtered down to a smaller, select group over time, eventually ending in us making one of those potential “ones “the one.”

So stay tuned for the next episode of How I Met Your Mother and Made Her “the One.” 


HUCKABEE AND THE BIG HOLE IN THE AMERICAN SOUL

This is not my post. This is written by Dr. Jerry Walls on his Facebook wall

In the aftermath of the tragic mass murder in Connecticut, Mike Huckabee made some comments that incited considerable controversy and criticism. I cited part of what he said in a favorable vein, and it generated a lively debate on my Facebook page, with many taking a negative view of his comments.

I would like to clarify what I think the issue is, and where I think Huckabee is dead right. Before doing so, it will help to make clear what I am NOT saying, and what he did not say either. First, as he clarified in a later statement, he did not mean to say the shooting happened because prayer was removed from school, as if there was some sort of simple cause-effect relationship here. Second, he did not mean to say we have the power literally to expel God from school, or anywhere else. Indeed, he eloquently described some of the many ways God was present in the tragedy and will continue to be.

But where he was spot on was in his observation that it is odd to say the least, if not profoundly confused, to wonder where God is in moments like this tragedy, when we as a culture have been marginalizing God for the past fifty or more years. The attitude he cites is manifest in everything from lawsuits over Christmas trees to vociferous opposition to the very suggestion that biology classes should at least examine the possibility that our world was created by an intelligent agent. God is never discussed in history class, or psychology or biology. In public schools, things must proceed as if He either does not exist, or is utterly irrelevant to making sense of everything from the laws of nature to human history.

So here is a good way think about the issue. What must God be like for a tragic event like the one in Connecticut to generate even a question about his whereabouts when it happened? The answer is He must be assumed to be something like traditional theists believe He is. If he is not, if he is either impotent, or senile, or morally indifferent, there would be no mystery in the occurrence of evil. It is precisely the lofty claims about the nature of God that generate the problem of evil. If there is no such God, evil is not a problem in THAT sense, namely, that certain types of evil seem to be sharply inconsistent with the existence of such a being. And if there is no such God, there is little reason to believe this tragedy will be rectified and redeemed. The lives that were lost will not continue beyond the grave, and there will be no judgment day to bring ultimate justice.

Or think about the issue this way. Invariably when these sorts of tragedies occur, newscasters, celebrities, and everyone else on TV remarks that “our thoughts and prayers go out to these hurting people.” So here is a similar question: what must God be like for prayer to make sense? Again, if prayer is a rational activity, God must be something like the God of traditional theism. If there is no such God, “prayer” is little more than collective empathy.

So what I am suggesting is we need to decide whether we want to continue to believe evil is a problem in the deep sense, and continue to believe in ultimate justice, and continue to pray in the belief that Someone is really listening and has the love, the power and the wisdom to know how and when to answer.

But here is precisely where the ambivalence/inconsistency/confusion arises that Huckabee put his finger on. Any God whose attributes pose a problem of evil, any God who is worth praying to cannot be trivialized, domesticated, sidelined, ignored ninety-nine percent of the time, and only half-heartedly (usually churches see a spike in attendance for a week or two) acknowledged when tragedy or other trouble shows its face. Any God who is great enough to give us hope that terrible tragedies are not the last word, that such horrors will finally be redeemed and made right, any God who is worthy of serious prayer demands to take the central place in our lives.

While thinking about this, it struck me that perhaps this is the deep reason why the issue of prayer in schools has become such a lightning rod. If there is really a God anything like traditional Christianity says, then prayer must be at the very heart of our lives if we are to be rational beings. Prayer acknowledges not only his existence, but our utter reliance upon him as our only hope if evil is to be defeated and our deepest aspirations for meaning are to be satisfied. Moreover, we cannot hope to truly understand human history or the ultimate nature of the physical world if we do not take Him fully into account. On the other hand, if there is no such God, prayer is deeply illusory and misguided, however emotionally comforting it might be. And “God’s” role in human history is only the role of an idea (an idea that is “all too human” as Nietzsche would have it) that is no longer viable for thoughtful people. Either way, one of these positions is radically and utterly misguided and out of touch with reality. No wonder the issue stirs such passions.

(Of course, there are complicating factors for such prayer in our pluralistic society. But for most of American history, no one thought the Constitution ruled it out, and I suspect if we took God more seriously as a culture, we could find more creative ways to deal with our pluralism than by simply leaving prayer out of the picture. And this is not to suggest that public prayer is any guarantee that we are taking God seriously. What taking God seriously looks like in the public square is not easy to say. So I grant the practical complications here.)

But back to the main point. The deep incoherence in our soul consists in the fact that we want to hold onto the idea that prayer makes sense, and that evil is a problem that we may hope will be solved, but we do not want to take seriously the God that gives substance to these convictions. This hit me again this morning as I was listening to a performance of “The Messiah.” What struck me was how this great piece of music begins with words of comfort and ends with words of triumphant hope. But in between, there are word such as these: “But who may abide the day of His coming, and who shall stand when He appeareth? For He is like a refiner’s fire.”

I have no doubt that God’s mercy endures forever. I have no doubt that God welcomes all sincere prayers, including those elicited by tragedies like the one we have just witnessed. He is always ready and willing to give grace to those who seek it. As the Messiah states the invitation: “Come unto Him, all ye that labour, come unto Him, ye that are heavy laden, and He will give you rest.”

But the God who is truly capable of giving comfort is the God who will reign forever and ever. If we want the comfort, if we want to pray for His Kingdom to come, we must understand who we are dealing with. But if we want a God who can safely be ignored and trivialized except when trouble strikes, there is no reason to think such a “god” is worth praying to or even invoking when we are baffled by shocking evil. But we cannot have it both ways.


NT Wright on Hell and the Afterlife

What is Hell Like?

What is Hell?

What Happens After You Die?



Why I Believe in God – The Short Answer

I often get private messages from my facebook friends asking me various theological questions…especially when I’ve said something “controversial” (a subjective word, btw!!!) in one of my notes. So, where it is appropriate and where I have been given permission, I am going to start taking the best of these questions, editing my response, and making them into public notes. Here is the first:

Recently I had a friend ask me why I believe in God. Here’s my succinct and edited (I removed specific names and places, and added a few editorial notes for clarification) version of my answer. This is not a theological treatise attempting to prove God’s existence. It is, rather, the reasons I believe…in a nutshell.

Dear Friend,

I think there are a number of reasons I believe in God. I suppose I could give you different theoretical arguments for the existence of God (ontological, teleological, cosmological, etc.), but when it comes right down to it, the reason I believe in God, particularly the God revealed in Jesus, is that the Holy Spirit in me confirms the truthfulness of that reality. In other words, it’s experiential.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I actually struggle with the experiential reality of God more than most Christians. But when I look over the course of my life I see a divine hand guiding, wooing, loving, and holding me. I may not always be able to see the finger prints of God in any given moment, but I can always see them when I look back after a period of time.

Furthermore, I don’t see life as having any meaning apart from God. If we really are an accident of nature…a happen-chance mixture of biology and chemistry, then our lives really have no ultimate meaning. Life is meaningless in the naturalistic model. Beauty and truth make no sense – there is no standard for such things outside of human perception.

But with God, beauty and truth are not only possible but meaningful. They give substance to reality. They, with great difficulty admittedly, make our sufferings meaningful. In a naturalistic world, our suffering, like our joy, is merely an accident of nature. But with God, suffering is not desirable, but ultimately can be redeemed.

Last, and more could be said, I think Jesus is the only hope our world has for genuine redemption and peace. For all our wars and strivings for things, the only possibility of having genuine reconciliation between people who hate each other is to follow the example of the God who died on a cross for those who hated him. This is more than merely a belief in ‘god’ in general. This is the necessity of a specific deity, with a specific character.

Now, to be honest, if it were only for my experience with other Christians and at church, I would probably have walked away from the faith long ago. But through my experiences studying various denominational and theological viewpoints, I have seen a God who is not the self-centered, narcissistic deity of many of our contemporaries. I have seen a God who is self-giving, humble, generous, and, indeed, compassionate – a God who suffers with the suffering, a God who has compassion on the needy, and MOST OF ALL sits and IDENTIFIES with sinners and the tempted. This may not be the God of the certain forms of evangelicalism, but this is the God of the Bible as far as I can tell.

So, my reasons for believing in God are two fold – my personal experiences, and my contemplation on the meaning of life apart from a God of deep love and compassion. The witness of the church is important, but the failings of the church do not negate the reality of a crucified messiah.

Let me know what you think, friend. It’s a really interesting question. I’m not sure anyone’s every asked me that before.

Tom


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